We would like to share with you a flyer that Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd brought back from one of their Back to the Future ventures. By the looks of it, this future is not too far off. Some doctors are already offering similar services in their offices today.
Stem Cell Therapy at home, RejuvYourself™
RejuvYourself™, just like in doctors’ offices. From the makers of the SutureSelf™ In-Home Operating Theater and the Dump-the-Chump™ do-it-yourself divorce kit.
You can do it yourself in the comfort of your own home. Just get a syringe and remove some blood from yourself. Put your blood into a bowl and add some de-ionized water. (If you don’t have that, just use tap water or whatever.) Warm it gently on your stove, then place the blood/water mixture into a sealed vessel like a Coca-Cola bottle.
Place the vessel into a centrifuge. If you don’t have a centrifuge, you can use a washing machine’s spin cycle. Remove the blood cells with the same syringe you used earlier if you don’t have a clean one handy. Add some chemicals to separate the stem cells from the ordinary cells. If you don’t have our chemicals, you can try some baking soda. A thin layer of clear liquid should form on the surface – that is your stem cells. Inject those cells wherever it hurts.
Warning: Do not attempt this at home without our kit! Please understand that we are joking. Medical doctors exercise their profession for a very good reason. If you would like professional help, please contact ProgenCell.